"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." – Dean Martin

47 Ronin- Quick Thoughts

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 So I have recently watched 47 Ronin. This movie kept me slightly entertained but it will probably go down as one of my disappointing movies of the year. The story is roughly the lord of some land is tricked into a dishonorable act and performs suicide. The person who tricked him is going to marry his daughter and get his land, but the former lords samurai are out for revenge. My quick thoughts as I watched it:

1. You only build up one villain as a credible threat (the giant armor guy). Does he die in an epic duel or heroic sacrifice? No. He is simply killed in the chaos of battle by a bomb. Similar to the only samurai with any personality (even if it just jovial fat guy).

2. All those random guards they killed for just doing their jobs. They didn’t show them being evil to the common people and the land fallen into ruin, which would have helped setting them up as villains. Instead, we must assume because it is raining

3. I paid to see an army of quirky samurai cut their way through an army of demons. Instead, the Outlaw is in it for 3 seconds and 4’ish words. The samurai are interchangeable and have no personality, and the only demon enemies they have are the Giant Armor Guy and The Witch. All the demons are shown in the trailers, and most of them are not the Samurai’s enemies.

4. Is it so wrong for people to have fun and ham it up a bit. The witch and the villain hammed it up, the fat samurai was jovial and provided some comic relief, and Keanu played the Stoic Outsider well. But this movie needed allot more personalities but instead…

5. This movie spent far too much time on Keanu and his love interest. And it also spent allot of time in getting magic swords meant to have unique powers for each individual based on their personality, but then does nothing with them. Probably because they didn’t have any unique personalities among the samurai.

 Well, at least I wasn’t completely bored during it. Mainly because I set myself a challenge to try and finish a jumbo popcorn as quickly as possible.


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