surrealcouchuniverse

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." – Dean Martin


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Godzilla: Things That Annoyed Me

So now that Godzilla has come and gone, and probably destined to be forgotten, I can start listing all the things that annoyed me.

1. Godzilla was made an anti-villain (I.e. he existed to simply destroy the other villains). This alone wouldn’t have annoyed me, but then they try to hand-wave explanations for it that are not really satisfying. Godzilla is given no reason to want to stop the parasitic monsters, except perhaps as revenge for that other skeleton that was found which may have been a relative to Godzilla. If anything, Godzilla’s presence in his own movie is simply to serve as a plot-point.

2. Why do the monsters have EMP’s? What is the evolutionary point of that. Dinosaurs didn’t have machines, so why would the monsters have an EMP that looks like it uses allot of energy (their food). It isn’t going to help them against any of there traditional predators.

3. The rest of the world is ignored in favour of America. Don’t they have an interest in trying to stop these giant monsters? They even take over the initial Japanese site.

4. Why choose such bland characters to follow. The only interesting relationship was the father (who turned into a guilt-ridden conspiracy theorist) and son (who literally became a soldier that stops disasters, which are bombs in his case) after there mother died, until they kill the father. Instead, we had bland army guy who the monsters seem to follow and a nurse who, of course, tries her darnest to save her patients. If you are going to pull a switch and focus a monster movie on people, at least make them interesting.

5. Why do the people cheer Godzilla at the end? He caused as much destruction and death as the monsters he just killed. Shouldn’t the military be trying to kill him when he is weakened. That is the approach the military took for the whole rest of the movie.

The movie feels like the beginning and end were written by one person who understood how to make it good. Then the middle was written by the one person who though Transformers were masterpieces. The end result: a mess.


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Trailers That PLayed Prior to Godzilla

 So allowing myself to absorb the Godzilla movie a bit, I have decided to write about the trailers that played prior to this movie.

 Trailer 1 Transformers: Age of Extinction

 This will probably be the dark-horse movie for me. With a reboot, this looks like it actually has the Transformers at the heroes and focus for their own movie after being abandoned by the military. And giant-robot-dinosaurs vs Optimus Prime can’t go wrong. Unfortunately, I think the answer will be allot, again. Once bitten, twice shy for Transformers, I feel. Definitely waiting for the reviews to see how it pans out. 

 Trailer 2 X-Men: Days of Future Past

 Everytime I get excited about this movie, I see a new trailer that convinces me that this will be an unfocused mess. From the first short trailer with the “I don’t want your future” part, the trailers have only gotten longer and more confusing. With what looks to be 30 characters, I think that the plot of this movie will leave allot to be desired. At the very least it shoud have some good set-pieces.

 Trailer 3 Maleficent

 Angelina Jolie stars as the wicked witch. Of course, she isn’t wicked but rather misunderstood as she tries to avenge a wrong done to her by the king by cursing the princess. Unfortunately, this seems to degenerate into nature vs man much like Noah or Avatar. I am prepared to be pleasantly surprised by this movie as it seems to have enough interesting elements to make it stand out from some of those previous movies. As long as they cast Jolie as a villain still, even if it is a tragic villain.

 Trailer 4 Edge of Tomorrow

 The trailer looked bad, as some sort of wartime version of groundhog day. However, as it went on it introduced newer elements. These included the re-try ability being stolen from the Aliens and the military knowing and taking advantage of this. The best scene is when Tom Cruise broke his leg during training and then the female commander deciding it was easier to kill him and taking advantage of his ‘respawn’ as opposed to continuing his training. Considering how disappointing Oblivion was, I have no doubt they will ruin all the potential that this has.

 So 4 major trailers. And the one I am motivated most for is Maleficent. Considering the competition, I am surprised that this is the case

 


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Spiderman Version 2.1: The Elevator Scene

I recently re-watched the original Spiderman movie trilogy (or what is commonly called the Raimi trilogy, now) after seeing all the hype for Amazing Spiderman 2. These movies have held up really well. The first 2 movies are still really well done and the third movie…. It was not that bad considering everything. Watching it straight after the first 2 highlights it’s flaws allot more (much like the Dark Knight Rises and X-men 3) but I was semi-prepared for it.

Rewatching Spiderman 2 on television, I actually saw the directors cut (version 2.1) as opposed to the original. There was one scene in it that struck me as wrong: The reworked elevator scene. In the original, Spiderman and a random guy make small-talk after Spiderman is forced to take an elevator. This ended when the guy tried to get out faster after following an awkward line from Spiderman about how his suit chafes.

In the rework, Spiderman has none of the awkwardness. Instead, the random guy tries to sell his advertising company as a PR firm for Spiderman and does an awkward rap, which makes Spiderman try to get out faster. This, for me, misses the point of the Peter Parker character in Spiderman. Peter Parker should be the guy who is awkward at conversation and is definitely not the coolest person in the room. This is another reason that the Amazing Spiderman doesn’t click with me, instead making Peter this super-awesome but misunderstood guy.

Being the most awkward guy in the room, Peter/Spiderman should be the one making the awkward comment when he has to engage in small talk with a virtual stranger. This is even more important because at this stage he doesn’t have his Spider-powers to fall back on. But they decided to rework this scene so Spiderman is the cool guy and the other guy becomes the awkward and embarrassing one. For me, this made the elevator scene turn from a bit of light hearted comedy into a scene that dragged too long and tried too hard while missing the major point of the characters up to that stage.

Why couldn’t they just leave the shorter but much better elevator scene untampered with


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Fitness Routine Change-Up

 So now that I have up and moved, I am doing a change-up of my fitness routine for this month. Previously, I was doing some combination of Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, Weights, Tennis, Running (for distance, normally about 10km) and going to the beach. However, for the next month, until I get myself set-up over here a bit more permanently, I am going to try a new fitness routine.

 This routine will revolve around 2 quick (20-30 minute) work-outs a day. The first work-out will focus on body-weight exercises and be a combination of high-reps at normal speed, low reps at slow-reps, holds for time or some skipping/sprinting at the park, dependent on what I feel like for approximately 20 minutes. There will also be some stretching and meditation at the end of this work-out (normally the final 10 minutes). This will be done in the morning. 

 Similar to my morning work-out, the second work-out will be split into 2 parts. The first part will be a skills-based warm up for about 10-15 minutes. This may be practicing juggling, hacky-sack, some martial arts drills, tumbling, or once again whatever I feel like. The final 15-20 minutes will be spent on yoga-/pilates-type exercises focused on flexibility and balance. This will ideally be done in the afternoon or evening.

 After one month of this, I plan on returning to the gym and some more formal skills-based work. I am interested to see how my fitness holds up and also how I look in the mirror. My prediction is I will gain some flexibility but lose quite a bit of strength. At any rate, it should be interesting.