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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." – Dean Martin

Godzilla: Things That Annoyed Me

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So now that Godzilla has come and gone, and probably destined to be forgotten, I can start listing all the things that annoyed me.

1. Godzilla was made an anti-villain (I.e. he existed to simply destroy the other villains). This alone wouldn’t have annoyed me, but then they try to hand-wave explanations for it that are not really satisfying. Godzilla is given no reason to want to stop the parasitic monsters, except perhaps as revenge for that other skeleton that was found which may have been a relative to Godzilla. If anything, Godzilla’s presence in his own movie is simply to serve as a plot-point.

2. Why do the monsters have EMP’s? What is the evolutionary point of that. Dinosaurs didn’t have machines, so why would the monsters have an EMP that looks like it uses allot of energy (their food). It isn’t going to help them against any of there traditional predators.

3. The rest of the world is ignored in favour of America. Don’t they have an interest in trying to stop these giant monsters? They even take over the initial Japanese site.

4. Why choose such bland characters to follow. The only interesting relationship was the father (who turned into a guilt-ridden conspiracy theorist) and son (who literally became a soldier that stops disasters, which are bombs in his case) after there mother died, until they kill the father. Instead, we had bland army guy who the monsters seem to follow and a nurse who, of course, tries her darnest to save her patients. If you are going to pull a switch and focus a monster movie on people, at least make them interesting.

5. Why do the people cheer Godzilla at the end? He caused as much destruction and death as the monsters he just killed. Shouldn’t the military be trying to kill him when he is weakened. That is the approach the military took for the whole rest of the movie.

The movie feels like the beginning and end were written by one person who understood how to make it good. Then the middle was written by the one person who though Transformers were masterpieces. The end result: a mess.

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